Fic: Wayward Angel 7/11
Jul. 19th, 2009 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
polgara_5Title: Wayward Angel
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters. They belong to their respective creators and distributors. Alec Colson’s dialogue comes directly from the Stargate Episode 8.8 Covenant.
Distribution: My site – Worlds of Possibilities, ff.net, Wormhole Crossing, and TtH.
Spoilers: For Buffy everything is game, for Stargate SG-1 direct spoilers for season 8 episode 8 - Covenant - and anything before that.
Setting: Takes place several years after Chosen and starts during SG-1 episode 8.8 - Covenant.
Summary: Life is filled with moments. The decision in each of these defining times shapes who we are and who we will become. They push us forward and back, an intricate dance.
A/N: Chapter titles and lyrics at the beginning of each come from Kasey Chamber’s cd - Wayward Angel. Music was used as an inspiration for the entire piece.
A/N2: Super shout out to Ava for being my personal cheerleader through writing this. Seriously, without her, this may have never been finished.
A/N3: Much thanks goes to Copper, my wonderful beta!
This fic has already been completed. I will be posting every Sunday.
Any and all artwork linked within this fic was created by the lovely Ava.
I used to make the fire
Now I’m running out of flame
The closer I get the more regrets
And I won’t change everything
To have you back again
But I can’t keep everything the same
~ More Than Ordinary
Jack had kept a watchful eye on Buffy from the moment he picked her up on the way to the airport. There was no way he was letting her attend the funeral without some show of support from the base. With Daniel being an ass about it all, it was left up to him.
He knew that her friends and the Watcher’s Council nursed a deep distrust of the military, after all it was the reason she had bullied her way into the program, but he hoped that through the SGCs cooperation that they had learned that his organization was nothing like the previous one they had dealt with. Showing Buffy support and honoring one of their fallen should help in the building of that new belief.
Plus, he liked Buffy and considered her to be a friend. The woman he had been prepared to hate had wormed her way into both his and his former team’s hearts. She had somehow become part of his family when he wasn’t looking and he was determined to do what he could for her.
The past two days had been a little awkward for him. The grieving friends and family looked upon him with distrust that only slightly eased up when Buffy had vouched for him. Still, it didn’t surprise him in the slightest; he was an outsider to the group. Deciding to wear his dress uniform on the day of the funeral probably wasn’t helping matters either.
He was pleased though to see that there was a strong sense of community within the organization and the family. It was obvious that the fallen slayer wasn’t a faceless girl fighting an unknown war with no one to support her. Despite Buffy’s assurances about how the Council operated now, it was good to see the proof with his own eyes.
What had surprised him was the different side of Buffy that he was suddenly seeing. On base she was an upbeat force to be reckoned with that seemed to have an endless supply of energy. Something he secretly suspected was largely due to Daniel’s coffee supply. But she was open and approachable to everyone - from the jarheads down to the science geeks.
While he had expected grief to dim her cheerful smile, this was more than that. When he had picked her up she seemed almost broken and fragile, but again that was understandable. A girl she had trained had died. Killed in the line of duty. Then when she confessed the full truth of who she was, her boyfriend dumped her. All in all a crappy time of it.
But on the way to the airport and during the flight to Cleveland a calm, collected façade dropped into place. By the time they had reached their destination she was in full control. Not an ounce of her pain or misery could be seen.
He suspected she may have broken down in the private company of her friends and sister. At least, he hoped so. Tiny cracks could be seen when her sister, Dawn, had picked them up at the airport but they were quickly smoothed over. No one who looked at her would be able to detect how much she was hurting except for maybe Dawn. He caught the shrewd look the youngest Summers had as she looked over her older sister and he suspected that he wasn’t going to be the only one keeping a close eye on Buffy that weekend.
His next surprise occurred when they reached the Council’s headquarters. At the SGC Buffy was a follower, not a leader. Sure she questioned command decisions if she thought they wouldn’t work or needed some tweaking, and she liked to make sure that she was familiar with all aspects of a mission so she could come up with contingency plans if something went wrong - which it usually did. But for the most part, she was seen as a follower.
Buffy comma The Slayer of the Watcher’s Council was definitely not a follower. Her close friends obviously didn’t treat her any differently, but he could see the way the others looked at her. She was obviously well respected and he could detect hints of awe in some of their gazes. But the most telling was the way everyone seemed to part for her, never impeding her movements. He wasn’t sure if she was aware of it, but he certainly was.
The worst part of it was that she had been carrying this weight since she was fifteen. It wasn’t fair that they placed this burden on her. She deserved better. It was no wonder that she was different on his base, no one expected her to make the hard decisions.
At the gravesite she remained every inch of the worthy leader. Her head was raised high and proud as the words of the minister washed over the somber gathering. Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she honored her fallen sister. He could see that the other slayers who had been assembled followed her lead, not only on the field of battle but also in other matters. That was more telling about Buffy’s leadership abilities than anything written on a piece of paper could.
If he was being honest with himself, he should probably remove her from SG-1 and place her in charge of her own team. She had more than proven during her time with SG-1 that she was capable out in the field and clocked enough off-world time to understand how things worked out there. It was something he should keep in mind if Buffy and Daniel could no longer work together.
He watched as the gathering began to thin, but he remained just behind Buffy. She continued standing beside the grave and spoke to everyone. Whispered words of apologies and comfort barely reached his ears but he was more than aware of how hard they were to give from his own experiences. He could tell that every word was given with complete sincerity and that those on the receiving end greatly appreciated them.
It wasn’t long before they were the only two remaining. After giving Buffy some time to herself he took the few steps required to reach her. His hand reached out to rest heavily on a slim shoulder. “It’s been a long day. Let’s head back to the house and get some rest.”
“Go ahead,” she said, looking towards the setting sun. “I’ll be there eventually.”
“Oh, no, Buffy. You don’t seriously think I’m going to leave you alone tonight after everything that’s happened over the past few days, do ya?” He asked, his incredulity coloring his voice.
She looked up at him and gave him a sad smile. “I’ll be fine, Jack. I just… need to go out and pummel something.”
A frown pulled at his lips. “You what? Huh?”
“I’m going patrolling.”
His frown got deeper. “You’re joking, right?”
“’Fraid not.”
“Buffy, there is no way in hell that I’m letting you do that,” he said in exasperation.
“Who said anything about letting? I’m going and that’s final,” she said taking one step away and letting his hand fall back to his side.
“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m your CO.” Jack nearly winced at his own tone, it didn‘t come out anywhere near what he had intended.
“Back in Colorado, yes. Here, no,” she replied tartly before turning away from him and heading towards the exit of the small cemetery.
Jack sighed loudly. He really wasn’t the best person for this, Daniel had always been better at getting people to see reason. Buffy needed him here and now, but since that wasn’t possible, he was going to have to fill those shoes. “You could get hurt. Your head isn’t on straight,” he said finally.
She stopped but didn’t turn back around. “It’s just… something I need to do, Jack. I’ve got… this need to hurt something. I’m the slayer and there’re evil things in this city. It’s something to do.”
Jack fell silent as he studied her tense posture. How many times had he wanted to kill something or find someone to vent his anger on when someone close to him had died? He had usually made some bad choices in that area, but at least Buffy had a constructive way of achieving her goals. Knowing that, there was no way he could deny her this.
That didn’t mean he had to like it, but he did understand it. But he wasn’t lying either about her not being in the right headspace. She could easily slip up and end up dead. In fact, there was a greater chance of that happening with her outlet than his preferred method of bar fights. Thankfully he had a way around that.
“Well, sounds like fun,” he said easily, walking past her toward the car. “I can’t wait to see an actual demon.
“Whoa, wait a second,” she said, hurriedly catching up to him. “Who said anything about you coming with?”
“I believe I just did,” he said with a smug grin. “I wanna see a slayer in action, fighting the things that go bump in the night.”
“It’s too dangerous, Jack. You -”
He stopped and whirled on her. “It’s too dangerous for you right now, too. I get the need to fight, but it can cause mistakes. You need backup, and right now, that’s me. So just deal.”
Her glare could have easily set him ablaze. “Fine,” she eventually ground out. “Just stay out of my way.”
“Understood,” he said with a nod. He couldn‘t resist adding, “As long as I get to kill one vampire.”
XXXXXXXX
Daniel removed his glasses and wearily rubbed his eyes. It had been a long exhausting day, but his mind was still too active for him to go to bed. Despite his best efforts to drive Buffy from his thoughts, he hadn’t succeeded. In fact, she seemed to hover closer to the surface more than ever.
The whole reason he had talked Jack into letting SG-1 continue with their planned mission, albeit minus Buffy, was so he wouldn’t sit around his empty apartment moping. He wanted to concentrate on the ruins he had found, not on her, but his thoughts and emotions wanted nothing to do with it.
Over the past two days he pushed himself harder than usual. Extra coffee, more focus on the work before him, and making sure his breaks were few and far between. All so he could drop off into a deep dreamless sleep when he bunked down at night. His body was more than willing to cooperate, only his mind wouldn’t.
Every time he found something interesting in the ruins, his first instinct was to point it out to Buffy. Each sip of coffee brought forth memories of sharing a cup with Buffy in the morning before they left for work. Every time he closed his eyes for more than a second he could picture her smiling at him. And not just one specific smile either - but all of the different incarnations of the gesture. It made his heart ache.
God, he missed her.
He missed her petite body sleeping curled against his larger one. Missed arguing a theory with her and her off the wall points and counterpoints. Missed the way she looked at him, her eyes filled with nothing but love.
It had only been two and a half days since he had broken it off with her. If it hurt this badly with them literally worlds apart, he couldn’t imagine how hard it was going to be when she came back from Cleveland. To have the daily reminder of what he’d had and then was forced to give away.
With more force than necessary, he put his glasses back on and grimaced when he nearly poked one of his eyes. He let out a long suffering sigh before turning his attention back to the lantern lit wall and writing before him. After two minutes of clear focus he found his thoughts wandering to Buffy yet again.
It was strange that she had never been quite this distracting when they were together. Somehow he had always been able to compartmentalize their relationship from the task at hand and it frustrated him that he couldn’t do that now.
Giving up, he dropped his notebook to the ground beside his feet. Twisting around until his back was against the wall, he used the cool stone to brace himself as he slid down until he was seated and he could wrap his arms around his bent knees. His head fell back against the wall and he peered up through the broken roof of the ruins to the darkened sky above.
He was still having a hard time believing that Buffy could betray him like that. She claimed that she loved him and accepted his love in return, all the while she was hiding a big part of herself from him. How could she do that to someone she claimed to love? How had he not noticed?
This wasn’t like hiding that she really didn’t like the dinner he had fixed the night before despite saying she did. This was hiding a fundamental part of who she was. Something that helped shape her into the beautiful, strong woman she was today. A woman he deeply loved.
This was her not trusting him.
Really, he could understand not revealing it to him when they first met. She was protecting not only herself but the other girls who had been called. It definitely wasn’t something you could trust with a virtual stranger.
But to not tell him when those crucial words had been exchanged? That’s what hurt the most. How could she entrust someone with her heart but not the full truth of who she was.
Not only that, but she’d outright lied to him and used Jack as an accomplice. When he had pushed Jack about the mission, he had managed to get a few additional answers. Like the times Buffy had been called away for other missions, they had all been slayer related. He clearly remembered asking her about them before she left on them and she had lied to his face.
And he never knew.
It hurt more than he cared to admit that she was capable of doing that. What if she had been lying about other things? What if she hadn’t really loved him? That she had just said the words because he had.
His eyes screwed up tight to hold back the tears and his chest constricted painfully, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t really want to believe that, but how could he possibly know the truth when she had lied so convincingly about the other?
The fact that Jack knew and didn’t tell him didn’t help matters either. He was supposed to be his best friend, not just his CO. It felt as if the entire universe was conspiring against his happiness.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there in his pity party for one but it had felt like forever before he heard the clearing of a throat. His eyes reluctantly opened to see Teal’c standing at the edge of the lamplight.
“Daniel Jackson, are you well?” Teal’c quietly asked, his deep voice carrying through the still night air.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long couple of days,” Daniel said, focusing on picking up his notebook so he wouldn’t have to look at Teal’c. “What’s up?”
“I just came to inform you that dinner is ready.”
Daniel sighed. “I’m not really hungry.”
Teal’c titled his head to the side. “You missed lunch.”
“So,” Daniel said with a shrug before getting to his feet. He turned back to the wall in effort to pick up where he left off.
Silence fell over the temple and Daniel assumed that Teal’c had left him in peace. Despite being a large man, he moved quietly and Daniel wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t heard him leave. So when Teal’c spoke up a few minutes later, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Did you and Buffy Summers have a quarrel?” He asked.
Daniel forced himself to not turn around. “Why would you think that?” He asked, his voice only slightly strained.
“Colonel Carter informed me that she was attending a funeral in her hometown. I can only surmise that you did not accompany her because of a quarrel.”
“It’s kind of complicated,” Daniel said, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the cool stone. He was too tired to try and explain everything.
“I have found that love often is.” Teal’c paused for a moment before asking, “Would you like to discuss it?”
“No offense, Teal’c, but not really. I’d rather just forget about it and just move on,” Daniel said, pushing off the wall and taking a few steps backward.
“I am not sure that is the wisest course of action,” Teal’c replied.
“Well, it’s the best I’m coming up with for the moment, I’m afraid,” Daniel said, flipping through his notebook to find the page he was writing on.
Teal’c stepped closer until he was nearly standing next to him. “You should eat.”
“I’m not -”
“It was not a suggestion,” Teal’c said firmly. “I will not allow you to neglect the care of your physical well being despite your wishes.”
Daniel sighed. He really wanted to lash out and remind Teal’c that he was a grown man who could take care of himself, but it wasn’t his fault that he was in a crappy mood. Teal’c was only being a friend. “Fine. I’ll eat, but I don’t have to like it.”
“I would not dream of asking you.”
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters. They belong to their respective creators and distributors. Alec Colson’s dialogue comes directly from the Stargate Episode 8.8 Covenant.
Distribution: My site – Worlds of Possibilities, ff.net, Wormhole Crossing, and TtH.
Spoilers: For Buffy everything is game, for Stargate SG-1 direct spoilers for season 8 episode 8 - Covenant - and anything before that.
Setting: Takes place several years after Chosen and starts during SG-1 episode 8.8 - Covenant.
Summary: Life is filled with moments. The decision in each of these defining times shapes who we are and who we will become. They push us forward and back, an intricate dance.
A/N: Chapter titles and lyrics at the beginning of each come from Kasey Chamber’s cd - Wayward Angel. Music was used as an inspiration for the entire piece.
A/N2: Super shout out to Ava for being my personal cheerleader through writing this. Seriously, without her, this may have never been finished.
A/N3: Much thanks goes to Copper, my wonderful beta!
This fic has already been completed. I will be posting every Sunday.
Any and all artwork linked within this fic was created by the lovely Ava.
I used to make the fire
Now I’m running out of flame
The closer I get the more regrets
And I won’t change everything
To have you back again
But I can’t keep everything the same
~ More Than Ordinary
Jack had kept a watchful eye on Buffy from the moment he picked her up on the way to the airport. There was no way he was letting her attend the funeral without some show of support from the base. With Daniel being an ass about it all, it was left up to him.
He knew that her friends and the Watcher’s Council nursed a deep distrust of the military, after all it was the reason she had bullied her way into the program, but he hoped that through the SGCs cooperation that they had learned that his organization was nothing like the previous one they had dealt with. Showing Buffy support and honoring one of their fallen should help in the building of that new belief.
Plus, he liked Buffy and considered her to be a friend. The woman he had been prepared to hate had wormed her way into both his and his former team’s hearts. She had somehow become part of his family when he wasn’t looking and he was determined to do what he could for her.
The past two days had been a little awkward for him. The grieving friends and family looked upon him with distrust that only slightly eased up when Buffy had vouched for him. Still, it didn’t surprise him in the slightest; he was an outsider to the group. Deciding to wear his dress uniform on the day of the funeral probably wasn’t helping matters either.
He was pleased though to see that there was a strong sense of community within the organization and the family. It was obvious that the fallen slayer wasn’t a faceless girl fighting an unknown war with no one to support her. Despite Buffy’s assurances about how the Council operated now, it was good to see the proof with his own eyes.
What had surprised him was the different side of Buffy that he was suddenly seeing. On base she was an upbeat force to be reckoned with that seemed to have an endless supply of energy. Something he secretly suspected was largely due to Daniel’s coffee supply. But she was open and approachable to everyone - from the jarheads down to the science geeks.
While he had expected grief to dim her cheerful smile, this was more than that. When he had picked her up she seemed almost broken and fragile, but again that was understandable. A girl she had trained had died. Killed in the line of duty. Then when she confessed the full truth of who she was, her boyfriend dumped her. All in all a crappy time of it.
But on the way to the airport and during the flight to Cleveland a calm, collected façade dropped into place. By the time they had reached their destination she was in full control. Not an ounce of her pain or misery could be seen.
He suspected she may have broken down in the private company of her friends and sister. At least, he hoped so. Tiny cracks could be seen when her sister, Dawn, had picked them up at the airport but they were quickly smoothed over. No one who looked at her would be able to detect how much she was hurting except for maybe Dawn. He caught the shrewd look the youngest Summers had as she looked over her older sister and he suspected that he wasn’t going to be the only one keeping a close eye on Buffy that weekend.
His next surprise occurred when they reached the Council’s headquarters. At the SGC Buffy was a follower, not a leader. Sure she questioned command decisions if she thought they wouldn’t work or needed some tweaking, and she liked to make sure that she was familiar with all aspects of a mission so she could come up with contingency plans if something went wrong - which it usually did. But for the most part, she was seen as a follower.
Buffy comma The Slayer of the Watcher’s Council was definitely not a follower. Her close friends obviously didn’t treat her any differently, but he could see the way the others looked at her. She was obviously well respected and he could detect hints of awe in some of their gazes. But the most telling was the way everyone seemed to part for her, never impeding her movements. He wasn’t sure if she was aware of it, but he certainly was.
The worst part of it was that she had been carrying this weight since she was fifteen. It wasn’t fair that they placed this burden on her. She deserved better. It was no wonder that she was different on his base, no one expected her to make the hard decisions.
At the gravesite she remained every inch of the worthy leader. Her head was raised high and proud as the words of the minister washed over the somber gathering. Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she honored her fallen sister. He could see that the other slayers who had been assembled followed her lead, not only on the field of battle but also in other matters. That was more telling about Buffy’s leadership abilities than anything written on a piece of paper could.
If he was being honest with himself, he should probably remove her from SG-1 and place her in charge of her own team. She had more than proven during her time with SG-1 that she was capable out in the field and clocked enough off-world time to understand how things worked out there. It was something he should keep in mind if Buffy and Daniel could no longer work together.
He watched as the gathering began to thin, but he remained just behind Buffy. She continued standing beside the grave and spoke to everyone. Whispered words of apologies and comfort barely reached his ears but he was more than aware of how hard they were to give from his own experiences. He could tell that every word was given with complete sincerity and that those on the receiving end greatly appreciated them.
It wasn’t long before they were the only two remaining. After giving Buffy some time to herself he took the few steps required to reach her. His hand reached out to rest heavily on a slim shoulder. “It’s been a long day. Let’s head back to the house and get some rest.”
“Go ahead,” she said, looking towards the setting sun. “I’ll be there eventually.”
“Oh, no, Buffy. You don’t seriously think I’m going to leave you alone tonight after everything that’s happened over the past few days, do ya?” He asked, his incredulity coloring his voice.
She looked up at him and gave him a sad smile. “I’ll be fine, Jack. I just… need to go out and pummel something.”
A frown pulled at his lips. “You what? Huh?”
“I’m going patrolling.”
His frown got deeper. “You’re joking, right?”
“’Fraid not.”
“Buffy, there is no way in hell that I’m letting you do that,” he said in exasperation.
“Who said anything about letting? I’m going and that’s final,” she said taking one step away and letting his hand fall back to his side.
“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m your CO.” Jack nearly winced at his own tone, it didn‘t come out anywhere near what he had intended.
“Back in Colorado, yes. Here, no,” she replied tartly before turning away from him and heading towards the exit of the small cemetery.
Jack sighed loudly. He really wasn’t the best person for this, Daniel had always been better at getting people to see reason. Buffy needed him here and now, but since that wasn’t possible, he was going to have to fill those shoes. “You could get hurt. Your head isn’t on straight,” he said finally.
She stopped but didn’t turn back around. “It’s just… something I need to do, Jack. I’ve got… this need to hurt something. I’m the slayer and there’re evil things in this city. It’s something to do.”
Jack fell silent as he studied her tense posture. How many times had he wanted to kill something or find someone to vent his anger on when someone close to him had died? He had usually made some bad choices in that area, but at least Buffy had a constructive way of achieving her goals. Knowing that, there was no way he could deny her this.
That didn’t mean he had to like it, but he did understand it. But he wasn’t lying either about her not being in the right headspace. She could easily slip up and end up dead. In fact, there was a greater chance of that happening with her outlet than his preferred method of bar fights. Thankfully he had a way around that.
“Well, sounds like fun,” he said easily, walking past her toward the car. “I can’t wait to see an actual demon.
“Whoa, wait a second,” she said, hurriedly catching up to him. “Who said anything about you coming with?”
“I believe I just did,” he said with a smug grin. “I wanna see a slayer in action, fighting the things that go bump in the night.”
“It’s too dangerous, Jack. You -”
He stopped and whirled on her. “It’s too dangerous for you right now, too. I get the need to fight, but it can cause mistakes. You need backup, and right now, that’s me. So just deal.”
Her glare could have easily set him ablaze. “Fine,” she eventually ground out. “Just stay out of my way.”
“Understood,” he said with a nod. He couldn‘t resist adding, “As long as I get to kill one vampire.”
XXXXXXXX
Daniel removed his glasses and wearily rubbed his eyes. It had been a long exhausting day, but his mind was still too active for him to go to bed. Despite his best efforts to drive Buffy from his thoughts, he hadn’t succeeded. In fact, she seemed to hover closer to the surface more than ever.
The whole reason he had talked Jack into letting SG-1 continue with their planned mission, albeit minus Buffy, was so he wouldn’t sit around his empty apartment moping. He wanted to concentrate on the ruins he had found, not on her, but his thoughts and emotions wanted nothing to do with it.
Over the past two days he pushed himself harder than usual. Extra coffee, more focus on the work before him, and making sure his breaks were few and far between. All so he could drop off into a deep dreamless sleep when he bunked down at night. His body was more than willing to cooperate, only his mind wouldn’t.
Every time he found something interesting in the ruins, his first instinct was to point it out to Buffy. Each sip of coffee brought forth memories of sharing a cup with Buffy in the morning before they left for work. Every time he closed his eyes for more than a second he could picture her smiling at him. And not just one specific smile either - but all of the different incarnations of the gesture. It made his heart ache.
God, he missed her.
He missed her petite body sleeping curled against his larger one. Missed arguing a theory with her and her off the wall points and counterpoints. Missed the way she looked at him, her eyes filled with nothing but love.
It had only been two and a half days since he had broken it off with her. If it hurt this badly with them literally worlds apart, he couldn’t imagine how hard it was going to be when she came back from Cleveland. To have the daily reminder of what he’d had and then was forced to give away.
With more force than necessary, he put his glasses back on and grimaced when he nearly poked one of his eyes. He let out a long suffering sigh before turning his attention back to the lantern lit wall and writing before him. After two minutes of clear focus he found his thoughts wandering to Buffy yet again.
It was strange that she had never been quite this distracting when they were together. Somehow he had always been able to compartmentalize their relationship from the task at hand and it frustrated him that he couldn’t do that now.
Giving up, he dropped his notebook to the ground beside his feet. Twisting around until his back was against the wall, he used the cool stone to brace himself as he slid down until he was seated and he could wrap his arms around his bent knees. His head fell back against the wall and he peered up through the broken roof of the ruins to the darkened sky above.
He was still having a hard time believing that Buffy could betray him like that. She claimed that she loved him and accepted his love in return, all the while she was hiding a big part of herself from him. How could she do that to someone she claimed to love? How had he not noticed?
This wasn’t like hiding that she really didn’t like the dinner he had fixed the night before despite saying she did. This was hiding a fundamental part of who she was. Something that helped shape her into the beautiful, strong woman she was today. A woman he deeply loved.
This was her not trusting him.
Really, he could understand not revealing it to him when they first met. She was protecting not only herself but the other girls who had been called. It definitely wasn’t something you could trust with a virtual stranger.
But to not tell him when those crucial words had been exchanged? That’s what hurt the most. How could she entrust someone with her heart but not the full truth of who she was.
Not only that, but she’d outright lied to him and used Jack as an accomplice. When he had pushed Jack about the mission, he had managed to get a few additional answers. Like the times Buffy had been called away for other missions, they had all been slayer related. He clearly remembered asking her about them before she left on them and she had lied to his face.
And he never knew.
It hurt more than he cared to admit that she was capable of doing that. What if she had been lying about other things? What if she hadn’t really loved him? That she had just said the words because he had.
His eyes screwed up tight to hold back the tears and his chest constricted painfully, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t really want to believe that, but how could he possibly know the truth when she had lied so convincingly about the other?
The fact that Jack knew and didn’t tell him didn’t help matters either. He was supposed to be his best friend, not just his CO. It felt as if the entire universe was conspiring against his happiness.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there in his pity party for one but it had felt like forever before he heard the clearing of a throat. His eyes reluctantly opened to see Teal’c standing at the edge of the lamplight.
“Daniel Jackson, are you well?” Teal’c quietly asked, his deep voice carrying through the still night air.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long couple of days,” Daniel said, focusing on picking up his notebook so he wouldn’t have to look at Teal’c. “What’s up?”
“I just came to inform you that dinner is ready.”
Daniel sighed. “I’m not really hungry.”
Teal’c titled his head to the side. “You missed lunch.”
“So,” Daniel said with a shrug before getting to his feet. He turned back to the wall in effort to pick up where he left off.
Silence fell over the temple and Daniel assumed that Teal’c had left him in peace. Despite being a large man, he moved quietly and Daniel wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t heard him leave. So when Teal’c spoke up a few minutes later, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Did you and Buffy Summers have a quarrel?” He asked.
Daniel forced himself to not turn around. “Why would you think that?” He asked, his voice only slightly strained.
“Colonel Carter informed me that she was attending a funeral in her hometown. I can only surmise that you did not accompany her because of a quarrel.”
“It’s kind of complicated,” Daniel said, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the cool stone. He was too tired to try and explain everything.
“I have found that love often is.” Teal’c paused for a moment before asking, “Would you like to discuss it?”
“No offense, Teal’c, but not really. I’d rather just forget about it and just move on,” Daniel said, pushing off the wall and taking a few steps backward.
“I am not sure that is the wisest course of action,” Teal’c replied.
“Well, it’s the best I’m coming up with for the moment, I’m afraid,” Daniel said, flipping through his notebook to find the page he was writing on.
Teal’c stepped closer until he was nearly standing next to him. “You should eat.”
“I’m not -”
“It was not a suggestion,” Teal’c said firmly. “I will not allow you to neglect the care of your physical well being despite your wishes.”
Daniel sighed. He really wanted to lash out and remind Teal’c that he was a grown man who could take care of himself, but it wasn’t his fault that he was in a crappy mood. Teal’c was only being a friend. “Fine. I’ll eat, but I don’t have to like it.”
“I would not dream of asking you.”
