Fic: What Does This Button Do?
Aug. 13th, 2008 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
polgara_5Title: What Does This Button Do?
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Fandom: BtVS/Torchwood/Stargate SG-1/Dresden Files(bookverse)/Fairly Oddparents/Supernatural
Challenge: #78 Six Degrees of Crossing Over
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
Summary: The various mishaps of technology and magic.
A/N: Yup, quite aware that some of this is crack, and I don’t really think I’ll ever use Fairly Oddparents again….
Spoilers: Mild spoilers for Torchwood season two, no major event mentioned, but a piece of technology is. Nothing else should ruin things for anyone.
Foul Smoke (BtVS/Torchwood)
Jack’s eyes watered as he tried to glare at Buffy through the fog. “What did I tell you about pushing buttons?”
“How was I supposed to know this would happen?” Buffy retorted, waving her hand in the air in an effort to clear it.
“That’s why we run tests first,” Jack said in irritation.
“The sensors didn’t tell us anything, how else were we supposed to find out what that ball did? At least I didn’t blow anything up,” Buffy said.
“Might have been better,” Ianto said dryly. “I don’t think this smell will ever come out of our clothes.”
Line of Communication (Torchwood/Stargate SG-1)
“This is Colonel Mitchell and Dr. Jackson from the SGC,” Ianto said, introducing their guests.
“Well, well,” Jack said with his most charming grin. “If everyone there looks this good I may need to put in for a transfer.”
Ianto merely rolled his eyes and returned to his duties.
Cameron’s jaw dropped slightly while Daniel did his best to forge ahead. “You are aware of the long standing agreement between Torchwood and the SGC?”
“Ah, business, should have known,” Jack said turning serious. “Yes, I was part of the committee.”
“Good, then maybe you can explain the signal you broadcasted two days ago that has several of our allies interested.”
Jack frowned. “Signal? What signal?”
“It was at approximately 11pm local time,” Daniel prompted.
“I’m still not – “
“Look, here’s the thing,” Cameron interrupted, finally finding his voice. “The Asgard picked up the signal and was curious about how we got hold of a Furling communication device, which puts it in our territory.”
“They could be referring to the device Owen retrieved from Parker’s estate,” Ianto suggested.
“Oh, that thing,” Jack said in understanding. “Is that what it does?”
“Apparently.”
“You can have it. Just one question – what’s a Furling?”
Hexing Work (Stargate SG-1/Dresden Files)
Jack O’Neill frowned as he looked at the unfamiliar man who was just beamed in front of him. “Who the hell are you?”
“Me? You’re the one who brought me here, who the hell are you?” The tall man countered, gripping a staff tightly in his right hand.
The Colonel looked at the oval crystal in his hand before shaking it a few times. “Maybe I should have listened to all of Thor’s instructions first,” he mused.
“Stars and stones, we’re in space,” the other man said in awe before switching to panic. “In space! In a spaceship!”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. My magic is going to short everything out and we’re going to crash to Earth.”
Jack snorted. “The ship is already screwed because of the Replicators so you’re a little late on that. But magic?”
The tall man sighed. “Harry Dresden, wizard for hire.” Then he braced himself.
“Real wizard?”
“Yes.”
“And your magic makes…”
“Electric things go kablooey.”
Jack grinned. “You’re in luck. I’ve been told this ship runs on crystals. Can you direct this kablooey?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Let me introduce you to something called a Replicator. And you can make all of them go kablooey.”
Darn Computers (Dresden Files/Fairly Oddparents)
Wanda finally found Cosmo in a corner of the fairy convention. It was the first of its kind and the fairies had all sorts of different booths to visit. The tiny pink-haired fairy had been searching for her husband for nearly half the day.
“Where have you been?” She asked.
“Playing this new game for the fairy computer,” Cosmo said, his eyes never leaving the screen. “We should get one of these for Timmy.”
“You know we’re not allowed to give it to him.”
“Yeah, but I can tell him enough so he’ll wish for it,” Cosmo said gleefully.
Wanda hovered next to him. “What’s the game about?”
“You can make all of these demons and vampires attack wizards. This is my guy – Harry Dresden.”
“Cosmo! Those wizard types could come find us. We’re in part of the Nevernever,” Wanda reminded him.
“It’s just a game, silly,” he said, directing the pointer on the screen to a button clearly labeled ‘Don’t Push’.
There was a flash of light and suddenly Cosmo’s character was standing before them. Every fairy froze for a moment before fleeing in panic, yelling, “Adult human!”
“That’s never happened before,” the wizard said in confusion, watching them.
Ghostly Wishes (Fairly Oddparents/Supernatural)
Seven-year-old Dean huddled in the closet of the motel room with his little brother. His face was screwed up into a scowl as he looked at the watch on his wrist that hid his two fairy godparents.
“This isn’t what I meant,” he said as another crash could be heard through the door.
“It’s your wish,” Cosmo said.
“I know I’m new to this, but I wanted my dad home with us tonight, not to be attacked by a ghost.”
“But he’ll come back to save you so he’ll be here,” Cosmo pointed out.
“Does he know he needs to?”
Wrong Step (Supernatural/BtVS)
Dean glared at Buffy from the opposite end of the tiny room. “This is all your fault!”
“My fault? You’re the one who just barged in without checking things out first,” she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
“It’s an abandoned house, why would I have to?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “The fact that a witch used to live here for one. Just because she’s dead doesn’t mean that her magical traps would be gone.”
“Now you tell me.”
“I tried, but you wouldn’t listen.”
After a moment he sullenly asked, “Now what?”
“We wait for Willow and Sam.”
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Fandom: BtVS/Torchwood/Stargate SG-1/Dresden Files(bookverse)/Fairly Oddparents/Supernatural
Challenge: #78 Six Degrees of Crossing Over
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
Summary: The various mishaps of technology and magic.
A/N: Yup, quite aware that some of this is crack, and I don’t really think I’ll ever use Fairly Oddparents again….
Spoilers: Mild spoilers for Torchwood season two, no major event mentioned, but a piece of technology is. Nothing else should ruin things for anyone.
Foul Smoke (BtVS/Torchwood)
Jack’s eyes watered as he tried to glare at Buffy through the fog. “What did I tell you about pushing buttons?”
“How was I supposed to know this would happen?” Buffy retorted, waving her hand in the air in an effort to clear it.
“That’s why we run tests first,” Jack said in irritation.
“The sensors didn’t tell us anything, how else were we supposed to find out what that ball did? At least I didn’t blow anything up,” Buffy said.
“Might have been better,” Ianto said dryly. “I don’t think this smell will ever come out of our clothes.”
Line of Communication (Torchwood/Stargate SG-1)
“This is Colonel Mitchell and Dr. Jackson from the SGC,” Ianto said, introducing their guests.
“Well, well,” Jack said with his most charming grin. “If everyone there looks this good I may need to put in for a transfer.”
Ianto merely rolled his eyes and returned to his duties.
Cameron’s jaw dropped slightly while Daniel did his best to forge ahead. “You are aware of the long standing agreement between Torchwood and the SGC?”
“Ah, business, should have known,” Jack said turning serious. “Yes, I was part of the committee.”
“Good, then maybe you can explain the signal you broadcasted two days ago that has several of our allies interested.”
Jack frowned. “Signal? What signal?”
“It was at approximately 11pm local time,” Daniel prompted.
“I’m still not – “
“Look, here’s the thing,” Cameron interrupted, finally finding his voice. “The Asgard picked up the signal and was curious about how we got hold of a Furling communication device, which puts it in our territory.”
“They could be referring to the device Owen retrieved from Parker’s estate,” Ianto suggested.
“Oh, that thing,” Jack said in understanding. “Is that what it does?”
“Apparently.”
“You can have it. Just one question – what’s a Furling?”
Hexing Work (Stargate SG-1/Dresden Files)
Jack O’Neill frowned as he looked at the unfamiliar man who was just beamed in front of him. “Who the hell are you?”
“Me? You’re the one who brought me here, who the hell are you?” The tall man countered, gripping a staff tightly in his right hand.
The Colonel looked at the oval crystal in his hand before shaking it a few times. “Maybe I should have listened to all of Thor’s instructions first,” he mused.
“Stars and stones, we’re in space,” the other man said in awe before switching to panic. “In space! In a spaceship!”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. My magic is going to short everything out and we’re going to crash to Earth.”
Jack snorted. “The ship is already screwed because of the Replicators so you’re a little late on that. But magic?”
The tall man sighed. “Harry Dresden, wizard for hire.” Then he braced himself.
“Real wizard?”
“Yes.”
“And your magic makes…”
“Electric things go kablooey.”
Jack grinned. “You’re in luck. I’ve been told this ship runs on crystals. Can you direct this kablooey?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Let me introduce you to something called a Replicator. And you can make all of them go kablooey.”
Darn Computers (Dresden Files/Fairly Oddparents)
Wanda finally found Cosmo in a corner of the fairy convention. It was the first of its kind and the fairies had all sorts of different booths to visit. The tiny pink-haired fairy had been searching for her husband for nearly half the day.
“Where have you been?” She asked.
“Playing this new game for the fairy computer,” Cosmo said, his eyes never leaving the screen. “We should get one of these for Timmy.”
“You know we’re not allowed to give it to him.”
“Yeah, but I can tell him enough so he’ll wish for it,” Cosmo said gleefully.
Wanda hovered next to him. “What’s the game about?”
“You can make all of these demons and vampires attack wizards. This is my guy – Harry Dresden.”
“Cosmo! Those wizard types could come find us. We’re in part of the Nevernever,” Wanda reminded him.
“It’s just a game, silly,” he said, directing the pointer on the screen to a button clearly labeled ‘Don’t Push’.
There was a flash of light and suddenly Cosmo’s character was standing before them. Every fairy froze for a moment before fleeing in panic, yelling, “Adult human!”
“That’s never happened before,” the wizard said in confusion, watching them.
Ghostly Wishes (Fairly Oddparents/Supernatural)
Seven-year-old Dean huddled in the closet of the motel room with his little brother. His face was screwed up into a scowl as he looked at the watch on his wrist that hid his two fairy godparents.
“This isn’t what I meant,” he said as another crash could be heard through the door.
“It’s your wish,” Cosmo said.
“I know I’m new to this, but I wanted my dad home with us tonight, not to be attacked by a ghost.”
“But he’ll come back to save you so he’ll be here,” Cosmo pointed out.
“Does he know he needs to?”
Wrong Step (Supernatural/BtVS)
Dean glared at Buffy from the opposite end of the tiny room. “This is all your fault!”
“My fault? You’re the one who just barged in without checking things out first,” she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
“It’s an abandoned house, why would I have to?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “The fact that a witch used to live here for one. Just because she’s dead doesn’t mean that her magical traps would be gone.”
“Now you tell me.”
“I tried, but you wouldn’t listen.”
After a moment he sullenly asked, “Now what?”
“We wait for Willow and Sam.”