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Fic: Wayward Angel 9/11
Title: Wayward Angel
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters. They belong to their respective creators and distributors. Alec Colson’s dialogue comes directly from the Stargate Episode 8.8 Covenant.
Distribution: My site – Worlds of Possibilities, ff.net, Wormhole Crossing, and TtH.
Spoilers: For Buffy everything is game, for Stargate SG-1 direct spoilers for season 8 episode 8 - Covenant - and anything before that.
Setting: Takes place several years after Chosen and starts during SG-1 episode 8.8 - Covenant.
Summary: Life is filled with moments. The decision in each of these defining times shapes who we are and who we will become. They push us forward and back, an intricate dance.
A/N: Chapter titles and lyrics at the beginning of each come from Kasey Chamber’s cd - Wayward Angel. Music was used as an inspiration for the entire piece.
A/N2: Super shout out to Ava for being my personal cheerleader through writing this. Seriously, without her, this may have never been finished.
A/N3: Much thanks goes to Copper, my wonderful beta!
This fic has already been completed. I will be posting every Sunday.
Any and all artwork linked within this fic was created by the lovely Ava.
For Sale
The second hand it rolls on by
It never looks back to wait for mine.
And if I fall any harder this time
If I dig any deeper Lord what will I find?
~For Sale
Daniel leaned against the stone wall of the ruins while he did his best not to frown at his two companions. This was partially his own fault. After years of dealing with and complaining about the way the military staff treated the ruins and artifacts they found, Jack was having him teach the members of teams that would most likely be coming across new sites a crash course on how to properly document and handle them, then evaluate their abilities.
Now, he was forced to observe the two military members of Buffy’s new team as they catalogued the test ruins. How she managed to get two new men inducted into the program as quickly as she had was surprising. Especially since they weren’t Air Force or Marine. Two normal Army men who seemed to take the news of alien life surprisingly well.
He strongly suspected that the final member of her team, Vi, was a slayer. The redhead was petite but carried that same, though slightly less pronounced, aura of strength around her that Buffy did.
He reasoned that there had to be a logical explanation why she chose each member of her team since he knew that Jack let her handpick them. If he was correct about his assumptions that Vi was a slayer, she was easily explained.
Despite how well he and Buffy together worked out in the field, she always seemed the most comfortable during a firefight with Teal’c by her side. He supposed it had something to do with warrior competence and had never taken offence to it, even before he knew about her being a slayer. Vi’s abilities as a slayer probably placed her in the same playing field as Teal’c.
The men, Captains Graham Miller and Mason Williams, probably helped to meet the warrior standards, but it was more than that as well. The few conversations he had shared with them they had seemed highly intelligent and more than capable of handling any situation out in the field. Unlike the other military men he had trained on how to document ruins, they took every instruction seriously and never questioned why they had to complete each step. Instead, their questions centered more on ensuring they completely understood what was expected of them.
It was irritating.
All these years he had been hoping for others in the military to understand the importance of something other than big honking ray guns, and now that he had them they irritated him. Although he had a feeling it had less to do with getting what he actually wanted than with how close they seemed to be with Buffy. Especially Miller.
He just happened to be present when the men had first arrived on the base. It was more than obvious to everyone there that Buffy had shared a relationship with both of them when she gave them both tight hugs. Both of them had smiled fondly down at her and in that moment something began burning deep in his gut.
Buffy’s physical familiarity with them didn’t stop with that initial greeting. Williams was occasionally graced with touches on the arm and random hugs during workout sessions and mealtimes. Miller, on the other hand, was privileged to more. Much more. The more he saw Buffy with them, the more his stomach churned and seethed. Making his body tense and nauseous.
Miller found ways to make her smile again and for the first time since he had broken things off with Buffy, her laughter could be heard throughout the base again. Her steps were lighter and the cool mask she had been wearing was slowly replaced by her normal cheerful demeanor.
His stomach rolled every time she leaned against Miller and rested her head on his shoulder. It whispered words that he didn’t want to hear. Refused to hear.
She had managed to replace him. The spot he had left cold in her bed was now being warmed by another.
Not that he could really blame her for choosing Miller as a partner. He was good looking and closer to her age than he was. He wasn’t a typical military grunt either, but capable of thinking and having thoughts of his own. And it was obvious that he cared about Buffy.
What rankled him the most was how quickly she had fallen into bed with him. It was all the proof he needed that she didn’t love him as much as he thought she had.
It hurt.
Just when he thought he had dealt with his feelings for her and was getting on with his life, this had happened.
His stomach churned some more and he scowled as he pressed a hand against it. Lips pressed tightly together as he fought back a sudden wave of nausea. As the feeling passed, he looked up to see his two trainees trade a look.
Williams shut off his video camera and tucked it back into his bag. “I think I’m going to do a quick trip around the perimeter,” he announced with an easy smile. He carefully stepped over the stones that littered the floor and then was gone. Leaving Daniel alone with the man who was now sleeping with his ex-girlfriend.
The only way the situation could get any worse was if he was alone with Buffy. No, he took that back. Being alone with Buffy and Miller would have been much worse.
He silently watched as Miller carefully stowed away the digital camera only to pull out the notebook he had seen earlier. After a few minutes of scratching something onto the paper, he calmly said, “For a smart guy, you’re not exactly the brightest are you?”
Daniel could feel his face pull into a frown. “How do you mean?”
“How you’ve been treating me and Mason. And more importantly - Buffy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daniel said defensively, shifting restlessly against the wall.
Miller lifted his head and the look in his eyes clearly indicated that he didn’t believe him. “I know what happened between the two of you. And while I understand your reasons for leaving, treating her the way you have been is not acceptable. She may put up with it out of some misguided sense of guilt, but I won’t. You’re hurting her and she’s been through enough. Lay off.”
Daniel could feel his teeth grinding together as he snarled out, “Like it matters. She has you to make it better.”
Miller’s eyes widened in surprise before letting out a full, deep laugh. “Seriously?” he asked once he had calmed down enough to speak. “That’s the reason for your attitude? You think I’m sleeping with Buffy?”
The archaeologist felt the certainty of his carefully constructed opinions falter. “I’ve seen how close you are,” he pointed out, for some reason wanting it to be true no matter how much it hurt.
“Man have you got it all wrong,” Miller said with a chuckle. “You can’t go through the hell we’ve been through and not come out closer for it. But dating her would just be wrong,” he said with a small shudder.
“And what’s wrong with her?” Daniel asked, feeling the sudden urge to speak up for her.
“Nothing, I think she’s great!” Miller said hurriedly. “I wouldn’t have jumped at the chance to work here if she hadn’t personally asked me. But even though we’re close, I’ve got the whole brotherhood code to consider.”
“Brotherhood code?” Daniel skeptically asked.
“Yeah. She dated my best friend years ago. There’s no way I could go out with her now.”
Daniel’s mouth formed a silent O as he felt his stomach settle back into place for the first time in a month. A fact that didn’t escape him in the slightest and he took a moment to examine the significance of why it happened now.
After a few minutes, Miller said, “Riley did the same stupid thing you did.”
“Who?”
“My best friend. He left her. And it wasn’t because he didn’t know about her being the slayer, he found that out when they first started dating. But because he had a hard time accepting her need for independence and her inability to need him. She didn’t always turn to him when she was hurting,” Miller said, keeping his sharp blue eyes on him. “And so he left.”
“Does he regret it?” Daniel asked.
“Sometimes, yeah. He’s married and they’re very happy, but he’s mentioned once or twice that she’s the one who got away,” he said knowingly. Then he turned back to his notebook, leaving Daniel to mull over the new information.
As Daniel went into the recesses of his own mind, memories of his time with Buffy floated to the surface. Her whispered confessions in the middle of the night of whether she did right by raising her sister, that she was worried that she wasn’t qualified to work at the SGC, when he held her as she cried over not being able to save someone they were sent to rescue, and when she had immediately fallen into his arms for comfort when she learned of the death of one of her slayers. All things she couldn’t give to Riley but had freely given to him.
The suddenly now obvious trust she had in him by allowing him to see her perceived weaknesses. The chinks in her armor. If Miller was telling the truth, then she had given him her all. Except for something else that was a large part of who she was.
“Why didn’t she tell me about being the slayer?” Daniel asked, breaking the silence, his voice thick with emotion, lying heavily on his tongue and chest.
“I don’t know and you don’t because you never gave her a chance to explain.”
“You’re right, I didn’t.” He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before slowly releasing it. “I’m an idiot.”
“I’m not going to argue, but I’m not the one you should be telling that to,” Miller said, closing his notebook.
XXXXXXXXXX
Buffy stretched her arms high above her head and arched her back enjoying the feel of loose muscles after a long, hot bath. The soft cotton of her pajamas rustled quietly with the movement. The past two days had been rough on her and her newly formed team but it had all been worth it. The last of their evaluations were completed and they were now cleared for field duty.
While she had chafed at it in the beginning, she understood why Jack had run them through such rigorous testing. She was the first civilian team leader in the eight year history of the SGC. He just wanted to make sure that there were no problems down the line if something should happen on an away mission. There was now physical proof that she had gone through all of the necessary training and her past experience as a slayer, even though it would stay classified but noted in her file as a top secret op, made her more than qualified.
She had been thrilled when Jack allowed her to recruit members of her team from outside the base. Immediately she had thought of Vi who had been looking for a more permanent position than her current status as a roving senior slayer. The two of them had always worked well together and it would be nice to have at least one female member on the team.
After that, she began looking into some of Riley’s Initiative friends. Riley and Sam were out of the question since they had retired a year before at the birth of their first child, a girl. With the Initiative now a defunct program due to the number of slayers out there, she knew that several of the former members were finding it hard to adjust to regular army life.
Graham had always been her favorite of Riley’s friends so he was her first choice and he in turn suggested Mason Williams. Thankfully, Mason hadn’t held being used as a human shield against a tazer blast against her. Jack pulled some major strings to get them immediately pulled from their current station to the SGC.
Over the past month the four of them had been working hard on getting to know each other and the extents of everyone’s skills. She was pleased to see that they complemented each other nicely and they hadn’t had any major problems so far. She was looking forward to going out and completing actual missions rather than the training ones they had to endure.
Her bare feet made little noise on the carpet as she walked through her house to the kitchen. With practiced ease that spoke of the many times the ritual had been completed, she went through the steps of preparing herself a cup of chamomile tea.
Once everything was ready, she twisted easily and leaned back against the counter, the edge of the granite top only digging slightly into the small of her back. She closed her eyes as she listened to the gentle sounds of water beginning to boil.
A sudden knock at the door caused her eyes to fly open. With a groan she pushed herself away from the counter. All she really wanted to do was enjoy her cup of tea before going to bed, only now there was an intrusion. “Somebody had better be dying,” she growled to herself.
She opened the door and was surprised to see Daniel standing on the other side. All of the tension that her bath had managed to ease away came flooding back as she frowned at the man before her. “It’s late,” she said flatly.
“I know, and I’m sorry. But I wanted to talk to you and didn’t want to hold it off any longer.”
“So talk,” she said, standing in the doorway.
He looked as if he was about to ask if he could come in but then seemed to think better of it, but instead he wrapped his arms around himself. She hadn’t seen him pull off that defensive move in quite some time and instantly she began to wonder what exactly brought him to her door at eleven o’clock at night.
Despite her better judgment, she silently walked back to the kitchen leaving the front door wide open. Old habits were hard to break and she wasn’t about to invite him in after dark even if she had just seen him several hours earlier at the base and he wasn’t a vampire then.
The tea kettle was starting to whistle as she heard Daniel shut the door. As she poured the hot water into her mug, she asked, “Would you like a cup?”
“Uh, um, no thanks,” he stuttered.
“Suit yourself,” she said, placing the kettle back onto the burner.
Her metal spoon clinked against the side of the mug as she stirred the contents to help the sugar dissolve. Daniel still hadn’t said a word to explain his presence as she made her way into the living room, assuming that he would follow. She sat in the large armchair and tucked her feet under her.
Silence weighed heavily upon them as she waited for Daniel to speak. Strange how things had always been so easy for them before only for it to change into this clumsy awkwardness that had her wishing she had just closed the door in his face. Daniel refused to look at her, instead concentrating on his clasped hands that sat loosely in his lap.
When she couldn’t take it any longer she spoke up. “You realize in order to talk you actually have to open your mouth and form words, right?”
His blue eyes lifted up for a moment to look at her before guiltily dropping back down. “I’m just trying to figure out where to start.”
“Damn it, Daniel. It’s late and I’m tired. Just spill it out already so I can get some sleep,” she said crossly, running a hand through her hair.
He nodded and raised his head to look her in the eye. “I wanted to apologize.”
Buffy’s forehead crinkled slightly as her brows pulled together. “For what?”
“The past two months. How’ve I treated you and your team. It wasn’t fair and I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes shining with sincerity.
She was taken aback by the admission. Sure, she had noticed that his attitude had soured quite a bit when she had left SG-1 and her teammates arrived, but she hadn’t said anything. He had a right to be angry with her. She had never understood the animosity towards her team, but figured after the initial training they would have little to do with each other during normal operations so she hadn’t done anything about it.
“Thank you.” She took a careful sip of her hot tea as she carefully considered how to word the next question. “Any particular reason why you were being an ass?” She finally asked.
Daniel winced and she felt rather pleased with herself for causing the reaction. “I’m not sure it really matters,” he hedged.
“Of course it does. I think I have a right to know,” she said stubbornly. “You apologized and that’s great, but I want to know why you were doing it in the first place.”
He leaned back against the sofa, his arms hugging his chest once again. “I was still upset with you and then those guys showed up. You were laughing and touching, and I was a little jealous.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed dangerously and her voice dropped to a growl. “You lost all rights to being jealous the day you kicked me out of your office.”
“I know that, but I couldn’t stop myself,” he admitted, his chin dropping to his chest. “Seeing you with them, especially Miller, hurt.”
“Well… good,” she said, shifting slightly in her chair. Not that she really wanted to hurt him, but it was nice to know that their separation wasn’t easy for him either. “Was there anything else, or can I go to bed now?”
“Just one other thing,” he said, tilting his head to see her better. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you were a slayer?”
Buffy froze in her chair, her heart hammering in her chest. She hadn’t expected him to ever ask and wasn’t prepared. “What does it matter now?”
He shrugged. “It was brought to my attention that I never gave you the chance to explain. I am now.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then it’s okay, but I would like to know.”
She wanted to explain, but her chest squeezed painfully making it harder to breathe. To tell him would mean opening herself up to him again. Opening herself up only to be hurt once more. She couldn’t go through with it.
Her eyes dropped to her mug and she half-heartedly stirred her tea. “I really think it would be best if you left now.”
“Buffy -”
“It’s over, you made that more than clear. Whatever right you had to know before is gone,” she said, her voice flat as she stared at the reflective surface of the pale tea.
Daniel sighed and she could hear him stand up, but instead of leaving he knelt next to her chair and placed himself in her range of sight. “I know I said that it would be okay if you didn’t tell me, but I would really like to know. To give you the chance that I should have given you that day.”
Tears stung the back of her eyes. “You didn’t -”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that, too. Let me make it up to you now. Tell me, please,” he pleaded with her. His blue eyes bright with their own unshed tears.
She furiously wiped at the tears that spilled down her cheeks. Just when she thought she had been getting a handle on her feelings for Daniel he just had to come here and wreck it for her. She wasn’t sure she’d survive going through this again. A warm hand clasped her own and she let the heat anchor her.
“I’m not going to ask you to trust me, because I don’t deserve that. I’m just asking you to give me a chance.” His blue eyes held hers and didn’t waver.
A looming precipice stood before her. If she took this chance it was do or die for her. Buffy drew in a ragged breath and leapt.
By: Polgara (melindoranightsilver@hotmail.com)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters. They belong to their respective creators and distributors. Alec Colson’s dialogue comes directly from the Stargate Episode 8.8 Covenant.
Distribution: My site – Worlds of Possibilities, ff.net, Wormhole Crossing, and TtH.
Spoilers: For Buffy everything is game, for Stargate SG-1 direct spoilers for season 8 episode 8 - Covenant - and anything before that.
Setting: Takes place several years after Chosen and starts during SG-1 episode 8.8 - Covenant.
Summary: Life is filled with moments. The decision in each of these defining times shapes who we are and who we will become. They push us forward and back, an intricate dance.
A/N: Chapter titles and lyrics at the beginning of each come from Kasey Chamber’s cd - Wayward Angel. Music was used as an inspiration for the entire piece.
A/N2: Super shout out to Ava for being my personal cheerleader through writing this. Seriously, without her, this may have never been finished.
A/N3: Much thanks goes to Copper, my wonderful beta!
This fic has already been completed. I will be posting every Sunday.
Any and all artwork linked within this fic was created by the lovely Ava.
For Sale
The second hand it rolls on by
It never looks back to wait for mine.
And if I fall any harder this time
If I dig any deeper Lord what will I find?
~For Sale
Daniel leaned against the stone wall of the ruins while he did his best not to frown at his two companions. This was partially his own fault. After years of dealing with and complaining about the way the military staff treated the ruins and artifacts they found, Jack was having him teach the members of teams that would most likely be coming across new sites a crash course on how to properly document and handle them, then evaluate their abilities.
Now, he was forced to observe the two military members of Buffy’s new team as they catalogued the test ruins. How she managed to get two new men inducted into the program as quickly as she had was surprising. Especially since they weren’t Air Force or Marine. Two normal Army men who seemed to take the news of alien life surprisingly well.
He strongly suspected that the final member of her team, Vi, was a slayer. The redhead was petite but carried that same, though slightly less pronounced, aura of strength around her that Buffy did.
He reasoned that there had to be a logical explanation why she chose each member of her team since he knew that Jack let her handpick them. If he was correct about his assumptions that Vi was a slayer, she was easily explained.
Despite how well he and Buffy together worked out in the field, she always seemed the most comfortable during a firefight with Teal’c by her side. He supposed it had something to do with warrior competence and had never taken offence to it, even before he knew about her being a slayer. Vi’s abilities as a slayer probably placed her in the same playing field as Teal’c.
The men, Captains Graham Miller and Mason Williams, probably helped to meet the warrior standards, but it was more than that as well. The few conversations he had shared with them they had seemed highly intelligent and more than capable of handling any situation out in the field. Unlike the other military men he had trained on how to document ruins, they took every instruction seriously and never questioned why they had to complete each step. Instead, their questions centered more on ensuring they completely understood what was expected of them.
It was irritating.
All these years he had been hoping for others in the military to understand the importance of something other than big honking ray guns, and now that he had them they irritated him. Although he had a feeling it had less to do with getting what he actually wanted than with how close they seemed to be with Buffy. Especially Miller.
He just happened to be present when the men had first arrived on the base. It was more than obvious to everyone there that Buffy had shared a relationship with both of them when she gave them both tight hugs. Both of them had smiled fondly down at her and in that moment something began burning deep in his gut.
Buffy’s physical familiarity with them didn’t stop with that initial greeting. Williams was occasionally graced with touches on the arm and random hugs during workout sessions and mealtimes. Miller, on the other hand, was privileged to more. Much more. The more he saw Buffy with them, the more his stomach churned and seethed. Making his body tense and nauseous.
Miller found ways to make her smile again and for the first time since he had broken things off with Buffy, her laughter could be heard throughout the base again. Her steps were lighter and the cool mask she had been wearing was slowly replaced by her normal cheerful demeanor.
His stomach rolled every time she leaned against Miller and rested her head on his shoulder. It whispered words that he didn’t want to hear. Refused to hear.
She had managed to replace him. The spot he had left cold in her bed was now being warmed by another.
Not that he could really blame her for choosing Miller as a partner. He was good looking and closer to her age than he was. He wasn’t a typical military grunt either, but capable of thinking and having thoughts of his own. And it was obvious that he cared about Buffy.
What rankled him the most was how quickly she had fallen into bed with him. It was all the proof he needed that she didn’t love him as much as he thought she had.
It hurt.
Just when he thought he had dealt with his feelings for her and was getting on with his life, this had happened.
His stomach churned some more and he scowled as he pressed a hand against it. Lips pressed tightly together as he fought back a sudden wave of nausea. As the feeling passed, he looked up to see his two trainees trade a look.
Williams shut off his video camera and tucked it back into his bag. “I think I’m going to do a quick trip around the perimeter,” he announced with an easy smile. He carefully stepped over the stones that littered the floor and then was gone. Leaving Daniel alone with the man who was now sleeping with his ex-girlfriend.
The only way the situation could get any worse was if he was alone with Buffy. No, he took that back. Being alone with Buffy and Miller would have been much worse.
He silently watched as Miller carefully stowed away the digital camera only to pull out the notebook he had seen earlier. After a few minutes of scratching something onto the paper, he calmly said, “For a smart guy, you’re not exactly the brightest are you?”
Daniel could feel his face pull into a frown. “How do you mean?”
“How you’ve been treating me and Mason. And more importantly - Buffy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daniel said defensively, shifting restlessly against the wall.
Miller lifted his head and the look in his eyes clearly indicated that he didn’t believe him. “I know what happened between the two of you. And while I understand your reasons for leaving, treating her the way you have been is not acceptable. She may put up with it out of some misguided sense of guilt, but I won’t. You’re hurting her and she’s been through enough. Lay off.”
Daniel could feel his teeth grinding together as he snarled out, “Like it matters. She has you to make it better.”
Miller’s eyes widened in surprise before letting out a full, deep laugh. “Seriously?” he asked once he had calmed down enough to speak. “That’s the reason for your attitude? You think I’m sleeping with Buffy?”
The archaeologist felt the certainty of his carefully constructed opinions falter. “I’ve seen how close you are,” he pointed out, for some reason wanting it to be true no matter how much it hurt.
“Man have you got it all wrong,” Miller said with a chuckle. “You can’t go through the hell we’ve been through and not come out closer for it. But dating her would just be wrong,” he said with a small shudder.
“And what’s wrong with her?” Daniel asked, feeling the sudden urge to speak up for her.
“Nothing, I think she’s great!” Miller said hurriedly. “I wouldn’t have jumped at the chance to work here if she hadn’t personally asked me. But even though we’re close, I’ve got the whole brotherhood code to consider.”
“Brotherhood code?” Daniel skeptically asked.
“Yeah. She dated my best friend years ago. There’s no way I could go out with her now.”
Daniel’s mouth formed a silent O as he felt his stomach settle back into place for the first time in a month. A fact that didn’t escape him in the slightest and he took a moment to examine the significance of why it happened now.
After a few minutes, Miller said, “Riley did the same stupid thing you did.”
“Who?”
“My best friend. He left her. And it wasn’t because he didn’t know about her being the slayer, he found that out when they first started dating. But because he had a hard time accepting her need for independence and her inability to need him. She didn’t always turn to him when she was hurting,” Miller said, keeping his sharp blue eyes on him. “And so he left.”
“Does he regret it?” Daniel asked.
“Sometimes, yeah. He’s married and they’re very happy, but he’s mentioned once or twice that she’s the one who got away,” he said knowingly. Then he turned back to his notebook, leaving Daniel to mull over the new information.
As Daniel went into the recesses of his own mind, memories of his time with Buffy floated to the surface. Her whispered confessions in the middle of the night of whether she did right by raising her sister, that she was worried that she wasn’t qualified to work at the SGC, when he held her as she cried over not being able to save someone they were sent to rescue, and when she had immediately fallen into his arms for comfort when she learned of the death of one of her slayers. All things she couldn’t give to Riley but had freely given to him.
The suddenly now obvious trust she had in him by allowing him to see her perceived weaknesses. The chinks in her armor. If Miller was telling the truth, then she had given him her all. Except for something else that was a large part of who she was.
“Why didn’t she tell me about being the slayer?” Daniel asked, breaking the silence, his voice thick with emotion, lying heavily on his tongue and chest.
“I don’t know and you don’t because you never gave her a chance to explain.”
“You’re right, I didn’t.” He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before slowly releasing it. “I’m an idiot.”
“I’m not going to argue, but I’m not the one you should be telling that to,” Miller said, closing his notebook.
XXXXXXXXXX
Buffy stretched her arms high above her head and arched her back enjoying the feel of loose muscles after a long, hot bath. The soft cotton of her pajamas rustled quietly with the movement. The past two days had been rough on her and her newly formed team but it had all been worth it. The last of their evaluations were completed and they were now cleared for field duty.
While she had chafed at it in the beginning, she understood why Jack had run them through such rigorous testing. She was the first civilian team leader in the eight year history of the SGC. He just wanted to make sure that there were no problems down the line if something should happen on an away mission. There was now physical proof that she had gone through all of the necessary training and her past experience as a slayer, even though it would stay classified but noted in her file as a top secret op, made her more than qualified.
She had been thrilled when Jack allowed her to recruit members of her team from outside the base. Immediately she had thought of Vi who had been looking for a more permanent position than her current status as a roving senior slayer. The two of them had always worked well together and it would be nice to have at least one female member on the team.
After that, she began looking into some of Riley’s Initiative friends. Riley and Sam were out of the question since they had retired a year before at the birth of their first child, a girl. With the Initiative now a defunct program due to the number of slayers out there, she knew that several of the former members were finding it hard to adjust to regular army life.
Graham had always been her favorite of Riley’s friends so he was her first choice and he in turn suggested Mason Williams. Thankfully, Mason hadn’t held being used as a human shield against a tazer blast against her. Jack pulled some major strings to get them immediately pulled from their current station to the SGC.
Over the past month the four of them had been working hard on getting to know each other and the extents of everyone’s skills. She was pleased to see that they complemented each other nicely and they hadn’t had any major problems so far. She was looking forward to going out and completing actual missions rather than the training ones they had to endure.
Her bare feet made little noise on the carpet as she walked through her house to the kitchen. With practiced ease that spoke of the many times the ritual had been completed, she went through the steps of preparing herself a cup of chamomile tea.
Once everything was ready, she twisted easily and leaned back against the counter, the edge of the granite top only digging slightly into the small of her back. She closed her eyes as she listened to the gentle sounds of water beginning to boil.
A sudden knock at the door caused her eyes to fly open. With a groan she pushed herself away from the counter. All she really wanted to do was enjoy her cup of tea before going to bed, only now there was an intrusion. “Somebody had better be dying,” she growled to herself.
She opened the door and was surprised to see Daniel standing on the other side. All of the tension that her bath had managed to ease away came flooding back as she frowned at the man before her. “It’s late,” she said flatly.
“I know, and I’m sorry. But I wanted to talk to you and didn’t want to hold it off any longer.”
“So talk,” she said, standing in the doorway.
He looked as if he was about to ask if he could come in but then seemed to think better of it, but instead he wrapped his arms around himself. She hadn’t seen him pull off that defensive move in quite some time and instantly she began to wonder what exactly brought him to her door at eleven o’clock at night.
Despite her better judgment, she silently walked back to the kitchen leaving the front door wide open. Old habits were hard to break and she wasn’t about to invite him in after dark even if she had just seen him several hours earlier at the base and he wasn’t a vampire then.
The tea kettle was starting to whistle as she heard Daniel shut the door. As she poured the hot water into her mug, she asked, “Would you like a cup?”
“Uh, um, no thanks,” he stuttered.
“Suit yourself,” she said, placing the kettle back onto the burner.
Her metal spoon clinked against the side of the mug as she stirred the contents to help the sugar dissolve. Daniel still hadn’t said a word to explain his presence as she made her way into the living room, assuming that he would follow. She sat in the large armchair and tucked her feet under her.
Silence weighed heavily upon them as she waited for Daniel to speak. Strange how things had always been so easy for them before only for it to change into this clumsy awkwardness that had her wishing she had just closed the door in his face. Daniel refused to look at her, instead concentrating on his clasped hands that sat loosely in his lap.
When she couldn’t take it any longer she spoke up. “You realize in order to talk you actually have to open your mouth and form words, right?”
His blue eyes lifted up for a moment to look at her before guiltily dropping back down. “I’m just trying to figure out where to start.”
“Damn it, Daniel. It’s late and I’m tired. Just spill it out already so I can get some sleep,” she said crossly, running a hand through her hair.
He nodded and raised his head to look her in the eye. “I wanted to apologize.”
Buffy’s forehead crinkled slightly as her brows pulled together. “For what?”
“The past two months. How’ve I treated you and your team. It wasn’t fair and I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes shining with sincerity.
She was taken aback by the admission. Sure, she had noticed that his attitude had soured quite a bit when she had left SG-1 and her teammates arrived, but she hadn’t said anything. He had a right to be angry with her. She had never understood the animosity towards her team, but figured after the initial training they would have little to do with each other during normal operations so she hadn’t done anything about it.
“Thank you.” She took a careful sip of her hot tea as she carefully considered how to word the next question. “Any particular reason why you were being an ass?” She finally asked.
Daniel winced and she felt rather pleased with herself for causing the reaction. “I’m not sure it really matters,” he hedged.
“Of course it does. I think I have a right to know,” she said stubbornly. “You apologized and that’s great, but I want to know why you were doing it in the first place.”
He leaned back against the sofa, his arms hugging his chest once again. “I was still upset with you and then those guys showed up. You were laughing and touching, and I was a little jealous.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed dangerously and her voice dropped to a growl. “You lost all rights to being jealous the day you kicked me out of your office.”
“I know that, but I couldn’t stop myself,” he admitted, his chin dropping to his chest. “Seeing you with them, especially Miller, hurt.”
“Well… good,” she said, shifting slightly in her chair. Not that she really wanted to hurt him, but it was nice to know that their separation wasn’t easy for him either. “Was there anything else, or can I go to bed now?”
“Just one other thing,” he said, tilting his head to see her better. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you were a slayer?”
Buffy froze in her chair, her heart hammering in her chest. She hadn’t expected him to ever ask and wasn’t prepared. “What does it matter now?”
He shrugged. “It was brought to my attention that I never gave you the chance to explain. I am now.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then it’s okay, but I would like to know.”
She wanted to explain, but her chest squeezed painfully making it harder to breathe. To tell him would mean opening herself up to him again. Opening herself up only to be hurt once more. She couldn’t go through with it.
Her eyes dropped to her mug and she half-heartedly stirred her tea. “I really think it would be best if you left now.”
“Buffy -”
“It’s over, you made that more than clear. Whatever right you had to know before is gone,” she said, her voice flat as she stared at the reflective surface of the pale tea.
Daniel sighed and she could hear him stand up, but instead of leaving he knelt next to her chair and placed himself in her range of sight. “I know I said that it would be okay if you didn’t tell me, but I would really like to know. To give you the chance that I should have given you that day.”
Tears stung the back of her eyes. “You didn’t -”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that, too. Let me make it up to you now. Tell me, please,” he pleaded with her. His blue eyes bright with their own unshed tears.
She furiously wiped at the tears that spilled down her cheeks. Just when she thought she had been getting a handle on her feelings for Daniel he just had to come here and wreck it for her. She wasn’t sure she’d survive going through this again. A warm hand clasped her own and she let the heat anchor her.
“I’m not going to ask you to trust me, because I don’t deserve that. I’m just asking you to give me a chance.” His blue eyes held hers and didn’t waver.
A looming precipice stood before her. If she took this chance it was do or die for her. Buffy drew in a ragged breath and leapt.